


The Batman: Creeper minisode - Lobo

by ArcannaRyu



Series: My The Batman Creeper fanfics [4]
Category: The Batman (Cartoon)
Genre: steve ditko - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 15:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18625840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcannaRyu/pseuds/ArcannaRyu
Summary: The Creeper has a task to do, and hires a certain alien mercenary to help.





	The Batman: Creeper minisode - Lobo

Joker and Creeper stand in a newly renovated abandoned theme park, Joker surveying it with pride.

 

"Ahh….. There's nothing like the excitement of a new scheme about to be put into motion, and this'll be my biggest yet. An entire Joker carnival, where the audience will be the entertainment. isn't it just magnificent?"

 

"Yea, it's almost as good as the circus that just opened on the other side of the city." 

Creeper replies in a matter of fact tone.  
His expression immediately turns from pride to fury.

 

"WHAT!!!!"

 

Then he calms down a bit, putting a few fingers to his temples, remembering this is Creeper he's talking to.

 

"Wait this isn't like that time when the furniture was rearranged in the hideout and you thought it was a different warehouse?"

 

"Why do you have to keep bringing that up."

 

"I only moved the couch! It was still a warehouse full of props and tanks of my giggle gas! How many other warehouses are full of joker venom and giant clown heads!?"

 

"Meh, I never really pay attention."

 

So Creeper shows Joker the new circus in town, and it's a pretty spectacular sight.

 

"Wow, you weren't kidding."

 

He says with a stunned look on his face and then continues with a

 

"Well we can't have these posers stealing our audience, Creeper, take care of this, I need to get ready for the grand opening."

 

"And by take care of this you mean..."

 

"I mean eliminate the competition! Run them out of town! Burn it all to the ground! I don't care! I just want them gone by the time Jokerland is ready to open!"

 

"Aren't you gonna help? I mean leveling a place is fun and all, but I find it's always more fun when you do it with a buddy."

 

"You joking? I've still got a ton of preparations to do"

 

"Well what about Punch and Judy?"

 

"They've got even more to do. Now hop to it."

 

And he storms off, leaving creeper standing there looking thoughtfully up at the bright flashing lights

 

"Well I'm sure I could find someone who'll wreck the place with me."

 

The scene changes to a dark seedy bar as the door gets slammed open by Creeper.

 

She strolls confidently past the tattooed, heavily muscled and armed men that litter the room, many of whom actually move out of her way with a mixture of fear and respect, showing the name she's made for herself among the Gotham underground as Jokers main Hench girl when it comes to making sure no one tries to usurp, steal, or generally talk smack about her boss. Which is actually quite funny to see considering she's about half the height of most of the goons in the bar.  
Most ignore her though, not wanting to accidentally provoke her. But of all the burly criminals in the bar, one stands out, sitting at the bar with his back against the door.  
He has light grey skin and massive rippling muscles threatening to split the black leather jacket he wears, an odd looking gun clearly visible on his belt.  
Creeper figures he must be a new super villain trying to make his start in Gotham, and that it couldn't hurt to get to know him before he goes public. The other goons give him a wide berth, but Creeper strolls right up and sits in the barstool beside him.

"I haven't seen you around before" 

she says cheerfully

 

The man's head turns to look at her, his eyes the same blood red as the creeper's, but with large black markings around them.  
They gaze curiously at her, as if saying 'are you're really dumb enough to talk to me?'  
He answers with a sarcastic 

"That's because I haven't been around before small fry." 

And takes a swig from his mug.  
Creeper spins back and forth slightly in her chair.

"You seem like the kinda guy who likes to break things, wanna help me level a carnival?"

That stops him, he puts down his mug and slowly looks back at Creeper.

"I'll pay you in corndogs." 

she adds cheerfully  
his face cracks into a broad, evil smile

"Lady, you're speakin my language, but I have one question. What the frack is a corndog?"

"So you're in?"

"Whenever there's people to kill and stuff to wreck, Lobo is always "in"."

Creeper smiles her typical good natured smile 

"Well then let's go!"

"Lead the way tiny."

And the two of them leave the bar, Creeper nimbly half walking half leaping out of the bar while the massive Lobo follows.  
It's late at night by the time Creeper and Lobo make it to the carnival, with is now closed for the day.

"Alright, we have to level everything this side of the fence." 

She says while motioning to the wooden fence lining the circus.

"You mean that puny fence? You've got to be frackin kidding me. I wreck more than that just getting up in the morning."

 

"Wow, I'd hate to see what your bedroom looks like, probably like a mile wide smoldering crater. Although the ash of tax collectors, girl scouts, and any neighbors you used to have should make for a pretty comfortable bed."

 

He gets out his hook and chain while saying.

"Nah. the ashes always made me sneeze." 

And he smiles his sadistic smile. 

"Now let's get to fraggin the place"

Moments later the entire area is a smoldering ruin, the escaped circus animals running amok in the nearby city. Creeper and Lobo lounge on some of the more comfortable rubble, while Lobo gnaws a corn-dog and takes an occasional swig of some cheap carny booze he found.

"So you're actually an alien mercenary?" 

Creeper asks.

"Yup, best around. I thought you were too, except for the mercenary bit. I could sworn I've seen that red pelt your wearing before."

 

"Well what are you doing here on earth?"

 

"I've been paid a fortune to capture some kryptonian staying on this lame ass planet."

 

"Wait, kryptonian? You're talking about the big blue boy scout himself aren't you?"

 

"Huh?"

 

"Superman."

 

"Huh?"

 

"You don't even know the name of the guy who's gonna make you rich?"

 

"Well I do now."

 

"Well that's not the only thing you should know about supes."

 

"Spit it out then, I don't have all day."

 

"Yes you do."

 

"... Yea your frackin right, so what's the big deal with this Superman guy."

 

"Well he's like a flying brick on steroids, indestructible, flying, real strong. Like squeeze a lump of coal in your hands and get a diamond strong, but he doesn't do that very often."

 

"Well why not? if I could make diamonds every time I make a fist I'd do it all the frackin time!"

 

"Yea, but he doesn't want you to know how strong he really is."

 

"Oooh keeps em guessin huh?"

 

"And I'd imagine he'd have to hold his fist like that for a long time and it's kinda hard to try and do everything with just one hand. But still, Superman, he's a real good guy. I mean you haven't seen good guys until you've seen Superman. Not that he's a pacifist or anything, he just probably won't kill you unless you do something reaaaaaally stupid. But seriously, there's no way you're gonna be able to just catch him."

 

"Hey, I'm a man of my word, I tell someone I'm gonna get them this Superman guy, I'm gonna get him Superman."

 

"So stick to your word to the letter, just because you brought him over doesn't mean he has to stay there. I say try and make a deal with Superman, something like you need help bringing down some big baddie who gonna kill hundreds of people if Superman doesn't play along and help you ambush the guy."

 

"Nah, I bet I could take him."

 

"Alright, but when you're flying back out into outer space from just one of his punches, don't say I didn't warn ya."

 

He takes another swig from his bottle.

 

"Hey Creeper."

He asks

 

"Yea?"

 

"You know any good brothels round here?"

 

"What!? I'm like 10, I shouldn't even know the meaning of the word.... but yes."

 

Lobo cracks a smile

 

"But I'm not gonna be your wingman or anything" 

She quickly adds

 

"Who says id want some whiny yellow kid to help me pick up babes anyway? The main man doesn't need any help when it comes to the ladies."

 

"Wait so that's what a wingman does? I thought they bought drinks or something."

 

"I take that back, you'd make a great wingman. You do have money on you right?"

 

"Yea."

 

But her wristbands start sparking and she's electrocuted.  
Lobo looks at her quizzically

 

"Is that, normal for you?"

 

She stands up.

 

"Sorry Lobo, I've gotta go, Jokers mad I'm not back yet."

 

"Hey, what happened to paying for all my drinks?"

 

she raises one of her arms, showing him the gold wristband.

 

"If I don't get back soon these bracelets will keep shocking me until I pass out and Jokers henchmen come pick me up. And I can't get the stupid things off. So I gotta go, but it was fun causing wanton destruction with you. Wouldn't mind doing it again if your ever back on earth."

 

And she leaps away into the night. Lobo leans back on the pile of rubble and takes a swig of his cheap carny liquor, looking up at the stars and smiling to himself.

"Maybe this planet Ain't that bad after all."


End file.
